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May 23, 2006
between the leaves, fruit
why do people with these velcro lettering shirts always (eventually) feel the need to hang shit on yours truly? in this case, it was my housemate.
mind, i had been calling him a cock-jockey in perfect italian all week.
fantino di cazzi, in case you were curious.
i've been roundly accused of being a writer before; if you are what you get paid for, then i both am, and will be again, though you'd never know it from this particular outlet. it often astounds me that, for the hundreds of interviews, articles, reviews, books ect that i've worked on that i have so little to show for it. one reason is that i get most lucid, creative, direct and adventurous when writing emails and letters and things that - by their very private nature - will never see the light of (public) day. but i think the main reason i feel so inert and unable to fall through the hole in the page when i sit down to write for this forum is because it (and I) am suffering from a bit of an identity crisis...
it's been mostly photos simply because that's the only real creative flexing i'm doing at the moment (not counting wailing like a fucking rock ninja on my axe behind closed doors - the stage doesn't call so much these days); in recent years any creative impulse i've had has been spent on *people*. i had/have forgotten how to create just for the sake of it; when i was in a band, shooting and writing about bands was only natural, as i was just feeding back into a community that was supporting me, that i was part of. it may be coming up to two years, but in melbs, i'm still kind of interstitial and not really anywhere much. more tellingly, i don't even have much ambition to get anywhere in particular - i've proven to myself many of the things i set out to. professional and creative goals seem to fall away when the biggest, simplest thing of all is so elusive: to just be content with what i have.
there's little evidence of it here, but my writin' muscles are being warmed up.
and once the photo site launches (trust me, also on the back burner) i will start something here. maybe i will talk about The Best Job In The World™ and the Second Best Job In The World™, both of which i have held down.
i don't know what is coming, but i can feel something building up.
maybe i just need some brown rice.
either way i'm gonna lose this tone of quiet earnestness. it is so. fucking. not. me.
Posted by reuben at May 23, 2006 10:21 PM
Comments
Hey. Interesting musical sidenote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loudness_war
Posted by: Crispin at May 25, 2006 4:33 PM