Where's a boy supposed to get a drink at this time of night?

Remember how, when the liquor license reforms went through in WA earlier in the year, we were supposed to suddenly be drowning in Melbourne-style alley bars, freed once and for all from the grips of the hoteliers? Have you noticed any small bars showing up yet?

Let's take a little trip to parliament, and pull out this week's Hansard to see where we're at...

2674. Mr M.J. Birney to the Minister representing the Minister for Racing and Gaming

(1) Can the Minister advise the number of liquor licensing applications under the new small bar laws that have been rejected (either formally or informally) by the Department since the passing of those small bar license laws?

(2) Can the Minister advise the reasons for those rejections?

(3) Can the Minister advise how many new liquor licenses have been granted (or old ones amended) under the new small bar laws since they were passed through the Parliament?

(4) Is the department carrying out the will of the Parliament and the Government with respect to the small bar laws?

Mr E.S. RIPPER replied:

(1) Nil

(2) Not applicable

(3) Small bar licences granted - two.

(4) Yes

Two. What Birney didn't ask (and as such, Ripper didn't answer, as a good politician only answers what he's asked) is how many applications there have been for said licenses.

Off the record, informal conversations with those who have applied for the licenses suggest that the issue is not necessarily with the government dithering but with certain nameless councils not quite willing to get with a more modern, radical program. Certain nameless councils that have been far too cosy with entrenched business in their areas, at the expense of the creation and nurturing of culture. Certain nameless councils for which a parade of candidates flood my mailbox with campaign propaganda for a postal election, none of whom articulate policy on anything.

Welcome to our Creative Capital, where all you need to kickstart the city at a time of absurd prosperity is, well, good intentions and zero followthrough.