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February 20, 2008

How I view love


Two people meet and from their hearts a little sprout blooms. Each greets the other with a gentle caress, it's fresh, like something growing and new.


In time (not so long for some) the hearts sprout so many vines, each one a new connection. They get entangled, they graft to each other. The people can't see their branches but they are tree-like. Their hearts larger, more fertile.


A break up occurs like a giant pair of scissors, the vines are cut, no longer able to grow together. The feeling may seem like a tearing, a rip to the heart. The vines are full of blood, thick from their growth. Now we know how big that tree grew as the pain sent to the heart reflects its size.


The individual tries to understand the pain of all the connections they have lost. It feels like it's all hanging out, bleeding and writhing around for its other halves.


Over time these vines retreat back inside the heart. The holes where they grew are slowly closing up. To ensure the best healing one has to not try to yank out the vines nor stuff them back in. The process can't happen too fast - the person must ensure that the heart itself doesn't shrink and get hardened by scar tissue.


Visit too soon with the one that you loved and you'll find little vines emerging faster than before as the wounds haven't healed and they are searching for love. You can feel them reach out to the other if you stand too close. They will quickly find a way to entangle so be careful as another cutting may infect your wounds.

[current mood] Chit Chat & Stale Sandwiches from Other Peoples Platters

Posted by natalija at 10:25 PM | Comments (4)

I love answering questions about myself

Don't we all?
Hence why it's right up there in the book of 'How to Make Friends and Influence People'.
Well, sign me up as your friend if you care to hear what I say!

This request to know 8 random things about me was sent by Rosemary Lynch as part of a meme going through blog-land.

The rules of this meme are:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List EIGHT random facts about yourself.
3. Tag EIGHT people at the end of your post and list their names.
4. Let them know they've been tagged.

8 things you didn't know about me

1. I was obsessed with drawing Garfield as a kid and became known for it in school as it appeared everywhere from creative writing stories to art colouring competitions. I even believed my Garfield doll could hear me.

2. I get this weird sensation/itch sometimes which means I have to click my tongue on the palette of my mouth and scratch the sides of my top lip.

3. I'm preparing to take my ex real estate agent to court because they want us to cough up $2000 (in addition to total bond) for turfing the lawn even though it was dead upon arrival.

4. I can no longer look at people sitting in front of windows. My eyes can't handle the contrast of them in shade and the light outside - I get eye pain and a headache. I have to insist that we swap seats so they face the window.

5. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo across my left arm and shoulder that looks like wrapped twigs, buds and blossoms. I want to find an amazing artist who could design it to looks magical.

6. I'm going away with just Oscar (the dog) on the weekend so that I wake up alone in the bush on my 30th birthday.

7. I would really like to be a teacher. My friend Anita has always told me that I'd make a great one and I hold on to that.

8. When I was 20 I worked as a graphic designer for phone-sex ads. I was forced to write the copy as well. I started shy and ended up with a wealth of euphemisms. I was fired after a month for not being 'committed' enough.

Michael Efford
Carla Kreuser
Karen Cheng
Miss Dot
Iris Flavia

[current mood] Sleeping In & Speeding on my motorbike

Posted by natalija at 6:21 AM | Comments (0)

February 17, 2008

I love my photo


[current mood] Indian Midsummer Nights Dream & Panforte

Posted by natalija at 9:29 PM | Comments (3)

February 13, 2008



Today the prime minister of Australia said SORRY to the indigenous people of Australia for the past injustices.

I was amongst a crowd that flowed from a building and into the park outside as we couldn't fit in to see the live telecast.
After initial disappointment of being stuck outside as the speech began, we silently, en masse bowed our heads. We listened to his every word. It had all the feelings of an historical moment.

Those were the most heart felt words I've heard an Australian prime minister speak. Rudd manages to be both earnest and spirited. And what struck me was how intelligibly he spoke, connecting himself with his audience.

It's hard to escape the activist attitude towards politicians which is often lined with suspicion and doubt. But I want to say that after years of being at rallies and on petitions, to finally hear this speech was truly spectacular and it is about time we celebrated!
I want to believe that Australia is shifting as a nation - that we are being lead by someone who has the ability to carry us into a different consciousness with his words and actions.
I can feel it happening and feel entirely grateful that John Howard is gone and that we have a leader that reflects what it means to be human.

SORRY is an easy word to say if you learn how - it is harder to mean it, to give it the energy you intend. Rudd meant it today. And what makes SORRY powerful is when it is accepted with an open mind and heart. To see the news focus on this 'good news' (about bloody time) and show the tears spilling from the indigenous eyes, it felt like we had taken the first step towards reconciliation.

I took the time to think about SORRY as I collected things around my garden to form its every letter.

And here are some of those letters in context...




[current mood] No coffee & Do Make Say Think

Posted by natalija at 6:03 PM | Comments (2)

February 8, 2008

A Novel of Hearts or A Heart of Novel?


This goes out to my friend Fee whose heart is growing exponentially.
She writes from afar to tell me tales of how wonderful things are,
reminding me of loves possibilities and mar.

Many months ago she posted me a packet of heart shaped novel pages.
I tried a few photographic ideas, had them tangled up in bicycle wheels
and pouring out of my hands, but never felt them good enough to air.

Today, amidst popcorn and beer bottles (transformation of our office after a film premiere),
I decided to clean up my desk at least to feel a little clearer.
And found my pile of hearts under piles of long-saved paper.
I decided today I would deliver a post of my hearts and also set them free.

So with no brown string and only rubber bands from someone elses desk,
I bundled them up somewhat unromantically and took them downstairs.
I placed them on the footpath
And watched them go unnoticed.

But soon enough someone will see this little novel of hearts
and maybe they will wonder about why and what it is.
Maybe they will take it home. And love it like I did.
Or perhaps they'll be kicked to the curb, rained on and thrown in the bin...

heart_of_novel walking by

Thanks Fee.

[current mood] Smog & Carrot Cake

Posted by natalija at 2:35 PM | Comments (3)

February 7, 2008

My little orchard dream


[current mood] Ravioli & Arcade Fire

Posted by natalija at 1:05 PM | Comments (4)