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February 27, 2007
It's my day don't ya know it
I get this feeling when my birthday comes up that leaves me standing fairly still. I suppose it is 'freeze' mode. I don't want to make a fuss over myself, I don't want to be in the spotlight... but then I always get upset when its forgotten or the day feels empty. I can't help attaching some rather large weight to the day.. no matter how much I logically defy it!
So I stand there not quite knowing what to do. Frozen.
My day, just a day, it's me, it represents my life, it's nothing, it's something. Is it?
Yesterday I turned 29. Sounds kind of old but I've always ignored my age, believing that this maintains my youthful looks. Never worried about getting older... but slowly I'm catching that disease which causes me to look in the mirror more often and grimace! (I suppose that disease is called looming death). It's only in the past year that I've been noticing wrinkles between my eyebrows that cause me to practice happy yet blank expressions to counter effect. And I have to do so much more exercise and eat so much better to keep my same self. More effort, less return it seems.
The thighs keep expanding. But this is becoming a woman.
The birthday in dot points:
Lowlights
- Seeing two ex boyfriends on purpose (silly).
- Lying in grass in the middle of day to embrace self imposed freedom yet coming up in itchy bumpy rash from head to toe from bugs/fertiliser or something evil.
- Having multiple clients call mobile reminding me of deadlines I made for them and having to sit in front of computer to meet my promises.
Highlights
- Yellow sky, lighting and thunder for breakfast.
- Walking puppies with Anita through rain.
- Finding one of the earrings I was given as a gift using mobile phone light in middle of night on pavement.
- Patting Oscar whilst watching the Oscars. And picturing his future bow tie.
I still don't understand birthdays.
[current mood] Yo la Tengo tonight & Gin and Tonic
Posted by nat at February 27, 2007 7:54 PM
Comments
Happy Birthday!!! and wasnt the thunder and lightning show fantastic? I saw it from my office on the 13th Floor and it was amazing.
Posted by: feli at February 28, 2007 8:47 AM
Happy Birthday for yesterday... You must be nearly grow'd up!
Hope your year of being 29 is a special one for you.
X Fee
Posted by: fee at February 28, 2007 10:45 AM
Happy birthday! I know, I feel the same every stupid time of the year! Embarrassment when others remember, disappointment if someone doesn't. And I never have a party; last time was at age 13 and my Mom organized it. We go for dinner, days later, that's it. Have a great year of being 29! :-)
Posted by: Iris at February 28, 2007 2:07 PM
ahh natty! happy day of birth! you spring chicken you ;)
mine's looming soon - the big three-oh-my-gawd-i'm-so-old!
Posted by: mik at February 28, 2007 5:17 PM
Thank you lovelies. It came and went and now a whole nother year til birthday freak out!
I'm told 'going away' is the best way to deal with this strange day. Will try to be on a greek island for the 3-0.
Posted by: Nat at March 1, 2007 10:09 AM
Best birthday message I ever got:
"Happy Birthday, hope it's good, a time to spend with family and all that. Hope to see you soon."
And I realised he nailed it - a time to spend with family. And/or friends. It's everyone's "centre of attention" day, nothing more than that.
Why do people always mourn getting older instead of celebrating another year of growth? You don't age, you learn.
(Side note: On my 25th birthday, I picked up a new pair of glasses. I also discovered that suddenly, at 25, BAM many more wrinkles had appeared overnight. Then I put two and two together and realised I must have had wrinkles for ages, it's just that my eyes were too blind to see them. Heh.)
Posted by: serrin at March 3, 2007 11:11 AM
Id like to tell you about my birthday, it is on the 9th of January....Very bad day!! everyone has spent out, partied out, and started back to work. There is nothing to celebrate for a whole other year, its cold and wet and even the cafe's and restaurants are closed!! Bum Day....Ho Hum. Have a good 30th (next year) and make the most of it babe.
(as for the wrinkles I wouldn't worry too much, all your mates are getting wrinkles with you!!)
Posted by: sam at March 4, 2007 6:07 AM
opps... forgot!
but since i love you as if everyday was your birthday, theoretically your the oldest (yet most youthful) Portugese Water Dog owning graphic designer i know.... and i know lots
kisses and candles for you
fabian
Posted by: fabian at March 11, 2007 6:19 AM
