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March 21, 2005

Double dealings

Two things always happen at once. If you get offered a job, suddenly another one is thrown at you. If you meet a great guy, another one starts ringing you out of the blue. I know this all from so much experience! So then you have to make this big decision. Something simple now has this big tough choice in it. Is the universe conspiring to challenge as soon as you reach for something? The tests come thick and fast in these moments of choice…
“Oh, you wanna work there do ya? Well, let’s see if you really want it, let’s offer you this job as well… make you squirm, make sure you want it bad enough, or whether in fact you were about to make a terrible terrible mistake!”
Ahh, the theories, who knows.. but the other one I have heard is that whatever choice you make is the right one, because that is your journey, your fate, what you were suppose to do… so i guess with that, throw caution to the wind and just choose!
You can’t fight the universe, if you win, you lose

Another thing I’m thinking about is how also… all bad things happen at once. I think I can channel the bad things, or the good things. If you focus too hard, then through the universe shaped tunnel, everything negative will come soaring at you. If you don’t fix your focus up quick smart, before you know it, everyone is leaving you, people are dieing, your business is breaking up, you have to move..
It’s a dangerous place. Allowing your mind to make life change for good or bad.

Posted by natalija at 9:50 PM | Comments (0)

March 17, 2005

My branding in my face

rtr-outside.jpg
It feels really weird having your artwork so on display in your local community and your social environment. RTR is a really striking example of this. I drive past everyday. I gaze up at it every time. I look at it as I wait at the checkout in the supermarket. I see it out of the corner of my eye while I drink beer at the Scotsman and I am faced with it when I get cash out of my account.
This is a view from where I park my car.

Posted by natalija at 11:32 PM | Comments (0)

March 16, 2005

da Vida

davida.jpg
I used to claim strongly that I would never do fashion. I am not into models and I don’t want to deal with them. But this one is my bestest friend. It has now tickled my fancy and I already have a job with a Scoop Magazine rival, coming out in June. More soon!

Posted by natalija at 11:39 PM | Comments (0)

March 15, 2005

Those I love

5 beautiful, gorgeous, open hearted women, sitting around a rug in my dining room, eating chilli mussels and drinking green tea.
This is the kind of life I wanted to live.
We share our stories, we reveal our pains. No judgements, just nurturing. It is a sacred space that we have created together.

Posted by natalija at 9:46 PM | Comments (0)

March 14, 2005

The Tab Technique

Sometimes I feel like vegemite and butter on toast
It reminds me of being little and saturday breakfast
The melting butter should be applied in tabs
Apply the vegemite where the butter isn’t
This provides an unpredictable eating experience
Sometimes I enjoy peanut butter and jam
but I use two knives

Posted by natalija at 8:39 PM | Comments (0)

Flight or Fight?

Option 1 Flight:
I almost ran right out the sidedoor, throwing my speech at the arts officer and tearing down View Street to get as far away as possible from the site of 43 children singing and waving coloured flags in the air. I tried concentrating on their innocent faces but it would not distract me from my upcoming speech. I couldn’t stop my nerves from taking over my whole body, from my numb toes, to my shaking fingertips….

Option 2 Fight!
Yes, I’ll fight it! AND I rode through it… as I’m well equipped to do these days, mentally regulating my actions, using multiple techniques to calm my mind (or distract it) and to do whatever it takes to get myself in front of the mic.
So, it’s done. of course it was fine… at least I fooled them into thinking it was… but really my mouth was bone dry, my fingers fondelling the chord of the mic far too much and I used the word ‘ultimately’ three times. But no one laughed at me. I actually don’t think they noticed… What a relief to be on the other side of that!

Posted by natalija at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)

March 13, 2005

Alone Together

It is sad when a creative connection goes dry. When walls and attitudes stop the flow because inspiration needs love.

Posted by natalija at 5:07 PM | Comments (0)

March 11, 2005

renounce one thing

I’m going to pick one small thing, one achievable thing, to renounce. By being able to renounce it I will create a small but sure sense of success. A happiness at my strength and the will to try again. The tip is, do not start with coffee. So from now, I renounce, the taking of things not given. This includes: The reading of things, the listening in, the watching of, the taking without asking. I will no longer take. I will only receive.

I thought that it would also be a lovely idea to give myself one gift. To take with me from this day. My gift is gentleness. A gentless with myself over being a slow learner. I will no longer get frustrated at myself over not being able to ride a motorbike after my second lesson, at not being able to meditate quietly, at not remembering what is what is CSS. It takes time for me. I give myself gentle patienceness and allow it to take however long it takes.

Posted by natalija at 9:00 PM | Comments (0)

March 10, 2005

silly things that come out of my mouth...

I love to conclude comments with the saying “that’s the story of my life”. So potential tomb stones:

“Natalija Brunovs - a slightly wrong template.”

“Natalija Brunovs - too many coloured pencils.”

Posted by natalija at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)

March 9, 2005

kiss me christ

"Dostoyevsky's imaginary Christ simply listens patiently and responds with a loving kiss."
If God does not exist, then "everything is permitted." Yet guilt is a human's natural instinct. Where does this guilt come from? Purely socially effected? Or in our biological nature? or is it a unconscious connection to a moral god?

When was the first time we felt guilty? Was it at age 4 when we broke mum's vase? Where did the guilt come from? Or was it placed on us and eventually we grew into that feeling?

Dogs can feel guilty, but that is a human's influence "bad dog, bad dog". Is it guilt that the dog is feeling? Or shame? That is similar. Perhaps it is just feeling a sadness.

When a tiger slaughters a deer, does it ever feel guilty? Does it even reflect? I don't think so. When a human slaughters another, the one that doesn't feel guilty is mentally insane.
Is insanity just being out of touch with one's natural feelings?

kissingchrist.gif

Posted by natalija at 10:11 AM | Comments (0)

March 7, 2005

Novel Badges

Catch22Charlie-2Lady

MockingSalesmanSea

Coming ever so soon, novelbadges.com - a place for us to get our wednesday-itis out n about on the www. A merging of concrete minds have created these delicious puns. And there are so many many more to come.
There is something about creating these badges that has sent my creative mind on a pathway filled with adrenalin. I am energised with all the possibilities for this site. I believe its going to work! It's strange that such a small thing can have such a great impact on the rest of my creativity - but it's proven a little thing to me, great ideas can come from simple beginnings and being around other creative people can make these things real.

Posted by natalija at 1:27 PM | Comments (0)