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When a creature known as "the hell-serf" could be said to represent your assessed work

Do you think that if one of you cracked a horse whip in Perth, the tip might reach one of my buttocks & send me yelping up the library stairs to do some work? I suppose, however, that this would involve standing up to leave sufficient buttock-snapping space. Which looks unlikely....

Two weeks to go until I'm officially a functioning member of society: "Hi guys, it's great to finally be here"... I think I might hold my own graduation ceremony where I use my sheeny bit of buff-coloured degree paper to snort vast quantities of illicit powders off the dean's starched plateau of a suit-coloured suited back. Then I'll go have a coffee....

Oh Lord, to read things I want to read! *cyclonic sigh* But nay, the guardian of the Geat nation wants his story not only translated but analysed and contrasted with other parts of the same story. Beowulf, why could you not just have said, "You know what? Take it. This holy place supermarke.jpg will one day be bought off by a chain of supermarkets employing more drone-folk than makes up our entire population. I'm going to go have a coffee"

However, here is a brilliantly gory extract , squatting on the head of Seamus Heaney's personal modern treatment, which cheers me along:

Ne Þæt se aglæca yldan Þohte,

ac he gefeng hraðe forman siðe

slæpendne rinc, slat unwearnum,

bat banlocan, blod edrum dranc,

synsnædum swealh; sona hæfde

unlyfigendes eal gefeormod,

fet ond folma.

Nor did the creature keep him waiting

but struck suddenly and started in;

he grabbed and mauled a man on his bench,

bit into his bone-lappings, bolted down his blood

and gorged on him in lumps, leaving the body

utterly lifeless, eaten up

hand and foot.

Neato! A few lines later Heaney endows Grendel (the creature) with the winning appellation "The captain of evil". I'd like to see that hat.... This is what's missing from Australian secondary English curricula; bring on the bone-lappings...

Well, I'm feeling tepidly inspired now. Thanks for listening. Disclaimer on any absent 'T's as well, apparently this keyboard's semester has already ended. It's probably at an Ibizan foam party by now.... shorting its circuits all over the dance floor, 99_00_20_web.jpg how disgraceful. Have done my remedial best, a few minutes ago this more closely resembled an interminable Irvine Welsh convo: "Ah've no go a lo o....."

Well, now I'm just flapping. Enjoy modern English, Beowulf & I are off for a macchiato.


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