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February 6, 2008

The Diary of Holly Hobbie

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I had a serious car accident today. Got spun around as I was turning right in front of oncoming traffic. Thankfully the five star safety rated Golf took the impact but it scared the bejeezus out of me. I'm not hurt (neither's he) and all parties are insured, but still . . . add this on to the dramz my family's been having lately and I've had two of the worst days of my life in a row.

I don't know why I'm writing about this. It's just that it doesn't seem quite real and I figure maybe if I post a blog entry on it, it becomes more legitimate. Maybe I also want to let people know what happened; this feels big, and a blog is a way to keep in touch with people. But also, mainly, I have decided to make my online journal my own personal diary in an effort to keep the quality of my writing up to scratch, and also, because it's fun to see my words on the various internets of the world. Is that so very terrible?

There is a novel by Doris Lessing called The Golden Notebook. It tells the story of a young woman with writer's block and contains her four separate diaries: a black notebook recounting her experiences of childhood in Africa, a red one accruing the details of her political life, a yellow one for her creative life and a blue one which exists for personal reminiscences and thoughts. However, as she begins to fear she is losing her mind, she confronts the compartmentalization that has taken over her life and establishes The Golden Notebook, the one which will unite all of her experiences into a single volume, thus coming to terms with the chaos of life and the inner turmoil of the mind. And so it is that this becomes my golden notebook. I haven't made the decision lightly; basically I have learnt how to trust myself and I'm positive this won't be a bullshit, imprudent blog. Also, I publish anonymously so people won't be able to google for me without knowing a bit about me. And, I don't keep a Facebook, so this is my way of letting people know what's going on in my life without all the obsessive minutiae of inter-facebook anxiety. This is just me, having a write at the end of a day.

BTW, the crash wasn't my fault, though that has yet to be officially determined (but the cops and the tow truck drivers were on my side). The other driver sped up on an orange light, even though I was out in the middle of the intersection. I remember screaming and a bit of a bump but thankfully there was no other trauma. I have a bruised knee and that's it. One thing's for sure though; the whole business can be so expensive---loss of income and so on (use my car for work)---that it really makes me want to be financially secure for the future. Thankfully, because I'm in a partnership, one supports the other, but fact is I still need to be able to support myself, so I at least stand a chance of supporting us, if and when the need occurs.

Posted by linda at February 6, 2008 6:27 PM


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