And so the gloomy pallor descended
Flip, your light-hearted attitude toward life has given you the reputation as an eternal teenager. But levity is also the sign of a very wise person, a person who knows how to laugh at her wisdom. Whether you realize it or not, you CAN get involved in a serious relationship without losing your light-heartedness. If you have already committed to a relationship, you know just how true this is.
Ah, how timely. When one is verging on getting involved with someone, deciding whether to keep one toe in the water or jump straight in, light-heartedness is indeed something that tends to falter. Like many of my sisters, I am prone to over-analysis and alarming levels of contemplation over the dawn of new relationships - but this time I am not feeling quite the same way. For a start, I carry some sadness and residual ire over the end of the last relationship, so my wounds are not quite healed. I am not so optimistic as I may once have been, as a result, nor do I feel dazzled with starry, starry eyes.
I am older, wiser and just a little bit more cynical - and it's a good thing too. But having said that - I do feel light hearted at the moment, and am interested to know where this new path may lead. The point is that because I feel strong and content in myself this week, I am unconcerned about external forces and can take the good with the bad. Now that is a light-hearted feeling.
Anyway, my mind today has been a little more occupied with the physical, as I have been fighting nausea all day. Oh, that faceless coward that lurks in the belly, unwilling to manifest in anything resembling a real symptom, hovering instead around the edges of the intestines and giving the occasional tweak. I can think of few worse symptoms - bar outright, blistering pain, of course - which can so decidedly ruin a day. I have pushed aside my breakfast and lunch in favour of endless glasses of water and clenched teeth, and am now contemplating the weekend with slight gloom instead of excitement. Perhaps it is nerves about the outcome of the job application? More than likely it is the three, slightly gritty and cold giant prawns I chowed down on at the boring function last night. Thinking of them certainly gives me pause for thought.
Anyway, home beckons at last and another week has ended. Despite my misgivings and grumpy state, I am heading off to see an art exhibition, followed by dinner in Northbridge, followed by the excellent Hula Bula Bar. Nausea or not, I intend to let my friends envelop me in their warm, usual way.